I still know what you did last summer Again
by arinngeru
Summary: A Director's Cut of the TV Animated Series Card Captor Sakura...viewers discretion is advised.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Card Captor Sakura…

(punches the computer)

VOICE OVER: 

What are you doing! Stop wrecking this computer! Card Captor Sakura will never be yours!

AUTHOR: 

Why? Why? Eriol and Tomoyo should be together! Wahhhh!

(pulls a laptop and starts typing like a crazed maniac)

AUTHOR: 

He…he…he…he…no one can stop me! Awwwoooo!

VOICE OVER: 

Hey! Those are weird symbols. Are you sure you know the English language?

AUTHOR: 

I'm writing a program that will self-destruct this computer! Hahaha!

VOICE OVER: 

You can't do that! We won't have a fic!

AUTHOR: 

Oh…yeah. Right…

(starts typing…for real)

From the Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Producer, Cameraman (actually she did it all) of "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" comes…

**I Still Know What You Did Last Summer…Again**

Subtitle: So Forget About It

INTRODUCTION

SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME…IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY…EVEN EARLIER AND FARTHER THAN 'I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER'…THERE WAS 'I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER AGAIN SUBTITLED SO FORGET ABOUT IT'. EVEN BEINGS LIVING ON THOSE TIMES DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT THEY EXISTED SO YOU CAN PROBABLY EXPECT THAT THIS IS JUST A PIGMENT OF MY WILD AND CRAZY IMAGINATION. OH…YEAH…I FORGOT TO TELL THAT WHILE I'M WRITING THE INTRODUCTION, THE BACKGROUND MUSIC IS 'TENENENENENG TENENENENENG TENENENENG'.

NARRATOR: 

What a wonderful day! The wind is gently blowing…the flowers are lively blooming…the animals are making love…and a very curious Sakura looking over the classroom's window and at the same time wondering how well animals do it. Episode 1: _The real story behind class hours…you don't even want to know._

SAKURA: 

Hoe…

(she is so engrossed that I cannot think of anything else for her to say)

SENSEI TERADA: 

Kinimoto? Kinimoto! Why the hell are you not answering my question?

SAKURA: 

What! What's going on? Are there clow cards?

SENSEI TERADA: 

Kinimoto, I'm asking you a question.

SAKURA: 

You see, sir, I was wondering if given two points P and Q of a line, the coordinate system can be chosen in such a way that the coordinate P is zero and the coordinate of Q is positive.

CLASS: 

Wohhh…..(in Tagalog, 'ang lufet!')

SENSEI TERADA: 

Yeah. Whatever. Ok… class dismissed!

SYAORAN:

(drools while sleeping)

What? Is it over?

TOMOYO: 

Ewwww…wipe that drool off your face!

ERIOL: 

Yeah…and your breath smells.

NAOKO: 

Hey! Rika, where are you going?

RIKA: 

To the washroom.

NAOKO: 

I'll go with you.

RIKA: 

No! You can't.

NAOKO: 

Why not?

RIKA: 

Well…actually I'm not going to the washroom. You just think that way.

NAOKO: 

I did?

RIKA: 

Yes. You always think that anyone who comes out of the classroom goes to the washroom.

NAOKO: 

Really? Wait! Where are you going now?

RIKA: 

Are you deaf or your just plain dumb? Didn't I tell you I'm going to the washroom?

NAOKO: 

What? And now I have problems with my ears…

CHIHARU: 

I think it's the brain.

NAOKO: 

And the brain.

TAKASHI: 

You know what? It's 30 minutes past 5 o'clock. We must….

CHIHARU: 

Stop lying Takashi!

TAKASHI:

I'm not lying! It's 5:30…look!

CHIHARU: 

I said stop it! (chases him with a hammer)

TAKASHI: 

Help! I'm telling the truth!

CHIHARU: 

What are you saying? That clock has no batteries. It's been like that for centuries now… and you don't even know?

TAKASHI: 

How would I know? I haven't been born back then.

SAKURA: 

I feel something.

TOMOYO: 

What? Is it a clow card?

SAKURA: 

Would you want to go to the washroom, Eriol?

ERIOL: 

Well…

SYAORAN: 

You feel that too?

SAKURA: 

Actually…I smelled it.

TOMOYO: 

Eriol, it's all right. You don't need to be embarrassed about it. Everyone…does that.

ERIOL: 

Does what?

TOMOYO: 

That.

ERIOL: 

What?

TOMOYO: 

That!

ERIOL: 

What that?

TOMOYO: 

Just read my mind, will you?

ERIOL: 

How can I? Your hair is so thick…

SAKURA: 

Uh…are you okay, Eriol?

ERIOL: 

I think I'll do that when I get home.

SYAORAN: 

Do what?

ERIOL: 

That!

SYAORAN: 

What?

ERIOL: 

(sigh) Descendants these days…

TOMOYO:

Sakura, I can't seem to understand this topic. Let's go home.

SAKURA:

Right!

CHIHARU:

Come on, Takashi. You need to be thought a lesson you'll never forget…hehehe!

TAKASHI: 

Help! She'll torture me!

RIKA: 

She'll never do that. You're her boyfriend. And besides… we must keep this fic at a T Rating.

NAOKO: 

When did you get back?

RIKA: 

Just now. I can't seem to find the washroom. The script didn't indicate where the washroom is.

NAOKO: 

I told you I should have accompanied you. You know the author of this fic is kinda stupid.

RIKA: 

Actually…I did find the washroom. The boys' washroom though.

NAOKO: 

What? It's the boys' washroom then? And all this time I thought it was the girls'.

RIKA:

Whatever. Adios!

NAOKO: 

Yeah…bye!

NARRATOR: 

And they go happily ever after…to be continued…teneneneneng teneneneneng tenenenneng….


	2. Chapter 2

VOICE OVER: 

Have mercy on my laptop!

AUTHOR: 

This is good…this is really good…(munch…munch…)

VOICE OVER:

What are you doing? Stop it! Don't eat the keyboard!

AUTHOR: 

Stop what? It's a chocolate bar! You can't even tell the difference.

NARRATOR: 

Episode 2: _An episode full of crap_

As they skip, jog, hop, jump, do cart-wheels on their separate ways, there was a…

SAKURA:

A clow card?

TOMOYO: 

A dog poop…

SAKURA:

Ahhhh…(disappointment…really)

TOMOYO: 

Wait…there is still more!

SAKURA: 

A clow card?

TOMOYO: 

No…a dog pee.

SAKURA: 

Cool…

TOMOYO: 

I'm still not done yet…

SAKURA: 

This is it. I know it's a clow card.

SYAORAN: 

If you call now, we'll slash 10 off the original price. Just call1-800-888888. Our friendly operators are standing by.

TOMOYO: 

No…Syaoran. It's not Rose Hip Hair Remover. It's…

SAKURA: 

It's a what?

ERIOL: 

It's a clow card.

SYAORAN: 

What? Why didn't you tell us?

ERIOL: 

Well…no one's listening to me. You only care about what Tomoyo's going to say.

SAKURA: 

Eriol, we didn't mean that way. How did you find out?

ERIOL:

Actually, I read it on Tomoyo's mind.

SYAORAN: 

So what kind of card are we dealing with? I thought Sakura had all of them sealed already.

ERIOL: 

It's a new card from the author's wild imagination.

TOMOYO: 

What is it then?

ERIOL:

It's a poop card.

SAKURA, SYAORAN, TOMOYO:

1,2,3…A poop card?

ERIOL: 

Yeah…whatever it is.

SAKURA:

Okay…I'll seal it with my ultra sonic hyper super duper pink girly magical key that changes into a baton.

TOMOYO: 

You can do it, Sakura! It's a good thing I brought my video camera with built-in laser that cuts through everything.

SAKURA: 

By the power vested upon me blah blah blah. I command you. Release!

(poooot…)

SYAORAN: 

Ahhhh!…don't do that ever again!

ERIOL:

Oh no…I think the fart sound just triggered something.

SYAORAN: 

Yeah…the card's glowing.

ERIOL: 

Actually…I need to go to the washroom now. (dashes away)

SYAORAN: 

I'm the only one standing now. It's up to me to defeat you, poop card!

TOMOYO: 

Syaoran, look out! The card's shooting poop all over the place.

SYAORAN: 

Oh yeah? Anyone can dodge that. Hahaha!

TOMOYO: 

Actually, I'm afraid that you might step on one of it and slip.

SYAORAN: 

Ahhhh!…..(slips)

ERIOL: 

Ah…. success!

SAKURA: 

Eriol…you're the one behind this?

ERIOL: 

Really? I mean, yes. I have succeeded in going to the washroom.

SAKURA: 

No, you idiot. This poop-shooting!

ERIOL:

You mean, I'm the evil mastermind? Hahahaha! (flashes his all-girls-will-swoon-at-my-feet-and-eat-dirt smile)

TOMOYO: 

Eriol, how could you hurt my friends? (sticks out her video cam)

You're going to pay….hehehehe

ERIOL: 

Bring it on!

SAKURA: 

Are you sure you want to do this, Tomoyo? You know, cutting things with a laser attached to a video cam is not your passion.

TOMOYO: 

Yeah…I think. Laser attack! Hiyaaaaahhhhh!

ERIOL: 

No! Wait! Poop card, transform now to a Sakura card! I command you! Or Tomoyo will fry us alive!

SAKURA: 

Eriol…you're going down.

NARRATOR: 

Fortunately, the poop card transformed into a Sakura card in the nick of time…as in the laser is just nanometers away from Eriol's face.

SAKURA: 

Way to go, Tomoyo! I don't even have to seal it myself.

TOMOYO: 

You see, making movies is my passion.

SYAORAN: 

Yeah…and I smell of crap.

ERIOL: 

I am defeated! Just end my life here…

SYAORAN:

I will do it! I will do it! Me! Me! This is my chance...to get revenge!

ERIOL: 

Don't worry…I will reincarnate again…and again… and again…

SAKURA: 

Don't bother, Syaoran. Your efforts will be useless.

SYAORAN: 

Crap…

NARRATOR: 

This episode is brought to you by Rose Hip Hair Remover. It removes hair even in the darkest spots.

AUTHOR: 

I can't believe it…this chocolate bar tastes like crap!

VOICE OVER: 

Are you going to post this on the Internet?

AUTHOR: 

Yes! So everyone will know how great I am!

VOICE OVER: 

With that, we'll need a pen name…Hmmm… That's right! So my reputation would not be ruin and most certainly not by you! I can't even imagine their faces if they found out about this. I know! You're pen name would be Mr. Hyde!

AUTHOR: 

How original… (punches laptop)


End file.
